Protect Yourself From Self-Care Sabotage!

As usual, it has been a really busy time, but what I have loved about this summer has been my commitment to spend time with people I love and taking time for me too! I spent this weekend again at Assateague Island with my family, I never get tired of that place! It was a beautiful beach day and we did see ponies, as they were preparing for the town’s annual pony swim.

Sunday I spent the morning with my mom getting manicures and pedicures. It was so nice to spend this one on one time with my mom, catching up on life. She is not only an amazing mom, but an amazing coach to me, as I have been going through my own personal and professional transformation. This time with my mom sparked up thoughts about the significance of having self-care routines in place.

As silly as it sounds, manis and pedis have become a really significant part of my self care routine. Up until a year ago, I had never done this regular ritual. I have been a chronic nail biter all my life. It’s a nervous, dirty habit..I know! Sometime this past year I started getting this treatment on a regular basis. I had decided to #1: Take the time for myself and #2: Spend the money on myself. Both of these were big blocks to get over…for the longest time I had the hardest time justifying that I could take an hour of my day for something that “wasn’t productive”, as well as spend money on something that was more of a luxury than a necessity. … 

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In10tions for Life’s Adventures

One of the traditions my boyfriend Paul and I have is our adventure jar. This jar has slips of paper with unique weekend adventures written on them, all within driving distance. Every 4-6 weeks, we pull one out and go on our adventure, which is usually great timing for a break with our busy, entrepreneurial schedules. This weekend we visited Bushkill Falls, the Niagara of Pennsylvania. We hiked for 3 hours on inclines and declines through the woods and saw a series of beautiful waterfalls. They were breathtakingly beautiful and we had an amazing time with each other on our adventure. The hike had peaks and valleys and was strenuous at times, but the cool thing was that Paul and I set our in10tion to complete the “red trail” (the one that encompassed all the falls and was for “hikers only”) and we kept each other accountable throughout our journey. And so glad we did, because we had the opportunity to experience something really beautiful together!

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As I have been going through my own transformation with my personal and professional development, one of the things I have been noticing is the power of in10tion setting and accountability. In10tion setting is so powerful because one of the things it brings to light is clarity of the situation and your overall goals. As a coach, speaker, and author, I have a TON of lofty goals. I have so many new book proposals in mind, as well as additional course materials to support my current book. I have ideas for classes and retreats, of how I want to impact women’s lives and help others. And even though all of these ideas are amazing, it can become overwhelming of knowing where to focus my energy. Like most people, when I become overwhelmed it is easy to fall into the trap of getting stuck or freezing, leading to less productive days and frustration. And we all know where frustration can lead us…to that inner diva mean girl inside who is self-critical and judgmental. Not a fun place to be!
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The Magic of a Meltdown!

Hello lovelies! I have been busy, busy, busy! Lots of amazing changes going on both personally and professionally and life has been phenomenally good to me! I am really truly blessed!

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Top Left: My love Paul and I visiting Assateague beach, Top Right: In studio recording my In10tions Audio Course, Bottom Left: Interview for the Career Expert Radio Show with Joe Woo, Bottom Right: Book Signing Event at Browseabout Books in Rehoboth Beach, DE

Which is why today’s post was challenging to write, because it feels hypocritical in nature..because my life is SO good! But I know many of you have been in my shoes as well, feeling completely overwhelmed and I wanted to share my perspective of this, as we are all on this journey together.

So despite all the amazing things that have been happening in my life, including creating some new in10tions content which is taking my business to the next level, moving into a new home with my super supportive and loving boyfriend, and having a phenomenally fun summer with lots of travel adventures, pressure has been building in my mind and within my body. Thoughts of doubt and overwhelming feelings had been coming up for me. Even though all of these transitions have been great, I felt like I was starting over. And that inner mean diva was challenging me with thoughts like “What if this doesn’t work?”, “What if I fail?”, and “Who do you think you are?”. Mean diva had been chirping in my ear, until one night…BOOM…complete meltdown! Like an atomic bomb, ugly cry meltdown. And it felt AWFUL in the moment, but was probably one of the greatest gifts that I could have experienced, because it taught me a valuable lesson and way to prepare for the future. I was able to find the magic in a meltdown and here is how:

1. Pity Party Permission: So as I busted out into an explosion of tears, I gave myself permission to have a full blown pity party. And luckily, as I sat next to my boyfriend, he gave me space to just vent, cry, and “wallow”. And it felt good, in an awful way, to indulge in those pity feelings. Too often we brush our feelings of sadness or fear aside and push through by not truly acknowledging how we feel. By indulging in a pity party from time to time, we release these less serving emotions from our body and mind, and create space for more serving intentions and feelings to show up.

2. Reset your mindset: Once you indulge in your pity party, having a really good cry, temper tantrum (or both!) then it’s time to reset your mindset. I gave myself permission that night to feel bad and made a promise to myself that tomorrow would be a new day, with new affirming in10tions to guide me towards a better day. There is nothing wrong with having a bad day, we all do, but it is up to us to take responsibility by putting a time limit on feeling sorry for ourselves (24 hours maximum!) and then shift our mindset by shifting our thoughts. In10tion setting can help tremendously with this process!

3. Find the lesson, feel the blessing: Every moment, whether they feel good or not, gives us the opportunity to learn something new about ourselves. So even in our sad and feeling bad moments, there is a lesson to be learned and that is the greatest blessing. For my meltdown, my biggest takeaway was I need to take better care of myself, with more yoga, juicing, and exercising. My self-care routines have fallen off a little with all of these new changes and my meltdown alerted me that I need to amp them up even more during this time of transition and hard work.

A meltdown isn’t a bad thing; there is so much magic you can find within it, lessons you can learn, and hidden blessings. It is just a matter of how you handle the chaos in the moment and what responsibility you take for how you want to feel. I know how challenging it can be to get back on track…believe me I have had many times where I have wanted to overindulge in a pity party and stay there for days. This is why I have created my new FREE program In10tions 365, where you receive a daily dose of inspiration to help shift your mindset to one that is more positive and forward thinking. Our in10tions are powerful beyond belief, which is why setting strong affirming ones is so important! Sign up for your daily dose of In10tions 365 by clicking this link and start your journey of shifting your mindset. I am so excited to share this with you because I know the impact in10tions have had on my life and want to see you grow and transform to your very best self!

I’m excited for what’s to come, meltdowns and all. And I am thrilled and blessed you are on this journey with me. Set your in10tions to make today and this week your very, very best!

Much love,

Melissa